17 Bean And Barley Soup

I was going to be anal and actually check if there were 17 different beans in this mix, but lack of time prevented my research. And speaking of anal, beans have a notorious reputation. You know what I'm talking about, it's the Big Bang all over again.

Let's face it, everyone farts, whether you want to admit it or not. The act of flatulence, can be a surprising, often embarrassing, potentially stinky, and sometimes outright noisy expulsion of air that many people would be more than happy to do without.

Our digestive system is the ultimate green machine, turning the food we eat, into the energy for our bodies to function. Through the processes of digestion and fermentation, gases can be liberated from what's eaten.

I think someone should engineer a car that would run on the methane we expel into the air. I shudder to think how that gas would be captured, a hose hooked to my butt sounds a bit intrusive and painful.

Okay.... does anyone even care to look at this recipe? Heck, even I am a bit nauseous at this point. Well, for those brave souls who are still interested, here it is:

Add this extra bean and there will beano gas.

Ingredients
1 bag of dry Trader Joe's 17 bean and barley soup (there are many other mixes in grocery stores if you don't have a Trader Joe's near you)
2 - 32 ounce cans vegetable broth
1 cup onion, chopped
1 cup celery, chopped
1 cup carrot, chopped
1 cup bell pepper, chopped
1 teaspoon dried basil
1 clove garlic, crushed
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 bay leaf
1/2 teaspoon Italian seasoning
1 can diced tomatoes
salt and pepper, to taste
(I added my leftover ham bone from Christmas, for flavor)

Directions:
1. Soak beans overnight in a large pot of water, then rinse and drain.

2. In a separate pan, cook onion, celery, carrot,pepper, basil and garlic in olive oil until soft. Combine this mixture and remaining ingredients, simmer covered for about 1 hour to desired tenderness. Be sure to occasionally check liquid level and add more broth if necessary.